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Friday, July 12, 2013

Ads and Products you'll never see again-1944

I never tire of looking through old magazines for all the products that took themselves so seriously at the time, and then some how disappeared and were never seen again. I'm sure there's a good explanation for their demise  discontinued, merged, bought-out, wartime product only, etc. But to me some of these products look like they were named in an elevator trip from board room to lobby, without any thought at all for creating a good lasting brand. Case in point:

 This may be old information, but if you know anyone that still has mothballs in a closet somewhere, for corn sake, get rid of them! They are dangerous can cause nerve damage just from inhaling the vapors.
 Really!? You couldn't come up with a better name than that?
Glider is not a bad name, but it just doesn't sound like a name that would last longer than a good shave.
 Who decides to call the name of a bra company Hickory!? Wouldn't a gal be nervous of splinters from her Hickory bra?
I just read old Life magazines for the sexy ads anyway, but aside from that what is the benefit of a slip that's seam proof, OK so maybe you wouldn't see any unsightly seems lines coming through on clothing, but then why not just say seam Proof instead of "prufe?"  Maybe Seam proof was already a trademark. 
 Orange Crush may still be around, or it should be after the free advertising from the R.E.M. song with one of my favorite misheard lyrics: "I've got my Sprite, I've got my Orange Crush." I realize Michael Stipe was singing about the Vietnam War-era nickname for Napalm and the lyric I twisted was actually Spine and not Sprite.
Canada Dry had a cola product? Wish I could find it. This next one is my favorite because of the poor attempt to point out how all US residents were chipping in to help the war effort. Why they chose to point out Native Americans must be from a deep-seeded guilt for their part in displacing them from their land to reservations. 

 Thanks for the history lesson that clears up who was infringing on who's rights.
 Yup, heart warming to see displaced indigenous peoples reduced to slaves while we go whizzing by in modern comfort.
Sorry, to let my politics leak through on this one, I suppose if I ever get an award for blogging I'll use it to bring attention to the plight of the native Indians or Marlon Brando, whichever garners me a bigger headline.

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